


Magnetic Compulsion

by Littleviolentone



Series: Anger of a Gentle Man [2]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angry Mac, Episode Related, Episode: s03e21 Treason + Heartbreak + Gum, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Soft Mac
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:13:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23046097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Littleviolentone/pseuds/Littleviolentone
Summary: He knew better than anyone else how off kilter she’d felt recently. Bozer tried to help, he did everything he could, but he just couldn’t understand the two of them the way they could understand each other. Even if that wasn’t the case the fact remained; she was happily dating someone else. For that reason alone he should shut down these feelings and just be grateful she considered him a friend.He was grateful, everyday.Mac also wasn’t naive or selfish enough to think that he was the only one feeling lost right now. So, fuck his feelings and his angst, he had to at least pretend to pull it together for the rest of the team.He could be Riley’s friend, and let her be his. He would learn not to want her so badly. He could do this. He had to.
Relationships: Riley Davis/Angus MacGyver (MacGyver TV 2016)
Series: Anger of a Gentle Man [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1648357
Comments: 13
Kudos: 194





	Magnetic Compulsion

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long in the making, but I was busy failing four different job interviews so I was a little depressed. All of your encouraging comments were a bright spot however, and I want you all to know that I truly appreciate you.
> 
> This installment was partially inspired by GeekyNightOwl1997's comment. I know it wasn't exactly what you asked for, but I hope you like it all the same.
> 
> If you guys have any questions, comments, concerns, feel free to contact me!
> 
> Love always,  
> Little Violent One

Desi was fascinating, she truly was. Many combat vets were tattooed, but not like her. Not with the elegant floral and cursive designs that highlighted her delicate bone structure. Lots of agents tested new teammates with mind games, but no one else had ever ambushed him outside his shower. She was an intriguing puzzle of bizarre curves and lethal edges.

With Jack’s absence leaving him more off balanced than he’d thought it would, Mac threw himself into the mystery that was Agent Desiree Nguyen.

He couldn’t deny that he was attracted to her, he wasn’t really trying to either. She was beautiful, and smart. Hard as steel, sharp as glass, and entirely self-contained. Or maybe it was just the fact that the first time they’d met she’d been very hot and he’d been so naked. 

Whatever the cause, Mac knew that at least on a physical level, they were attracted to each other. But Mac was also a smart enough guy to know that wasn’t always enough.

He and Nikki had shared a physical attraction first. Despite her claims to the contrary, he’d been aware of Cage’s interest in him, but their flirtation was more cerebral than anything. And his relationship with Nasha was entirely emotion based.

As much as he might want it to, Mac knew that any romantic relationship that could start with Desi would eventually be lacking for both of them. He also knew that the only reason he was even entertaining this idea was due to his desperate need for a distraction.

Phoenix’s resident wunderkind had thrown himself aggressively into his work since Jack’s deployment. But work could only take up so many hours in the day, so Mac’s mind had latched desperately onto the conundrum of Desi and his feelings for her. He was also aware of just how awful it was to use her as a coping mechanism for his fucked up garbage fire of a life, but his other option…….. Well, it wasn’t really an option. 

Riley was in a committed relationship (with a dickhead), but damn if she didn’t check all the boxes.

Her mind was a constant source of challenge and surprise that consistently amazed him. She had walked through her own war zone of a life, and come out the other side of it as one of the most caring people he knew. She had proven time and again that she could balance him when he spiraled, or give him a kick in the ass when was too stubborn to be moved. And of course, she was beautiful.

The word “stunning” came to mind, in fact. An alarming amount of Mac’s time on missions had been devoted to blocking out his reactions to the sight of her since she’d joined the team. And it was only getting worse recently.

A smirk and he has to begin a calculation again. A low cut shirt, or tight pair of jeans, and his pocket knife trembles in his hand for a moment. An unexpected brush of her hand on his shoulder and he’s forgotten their entire cover story until he can make his brain reboot. 

It’s a problem. 

But Mac’s always been able to tell himself it was nothing. It was just his hormones informing him that she was a good looking woman. Because she was never an option. She was Jack’s little girl, his friend and coworker, Bozer’s crush. All valid reasons to let any feelings he had wither away. 

And, no matter how much he personally disliked Billy (immensely), the guy did seem to really care about her and she was happy. So no, not an option.

But all of those perfectly logical reasons had become a lot harder to swallow after she’d been poisoned. Suddenly all of his carefully constructed and compartmentalized walls were razed to ash, and he’d been left wrestling with all of these feelings. Feelings which were far stronger then he’d ever expected to find.

Now being around her was a double-edged sword. She soothed as much as she inflamed.

Riley was the only one who understood his enduring anger anger at his father despite their attempts at reparation. She was his counter balance as much as he was hers, especially now that Jack was gone. It killed him to know that all they could be was friends, coworkers, partners, but he refused to ask her for more than she was willing to give.

He knew better than anyone else how off kilter she’d felt recently. Bozer tried to help, he did everything he could, but he just couldn’t understand the two of them the way they could understand each other. Even if that wasn’t the case the fact remained; she was happily dating someone else. For that reason alone he should shut down these feelings and just be grateful she considered him a friend. 

He was grateful, everyday.

Mac also wasn’t naive or selfish enough to think that he was the only one feeling lost right now. So, fuck his feelings and his angst, he had to at least pretend to pull it together for the rest of the team.

He could be Riley’s friend, and let her be his. He would learn not to want her so badly. He could do this. He had to. 

That had lasted about three months. 

He had been relived that Riley hadn’t been on their mission to rescue Ethan’s family for so many reasons. She didn’t have to deal with Mattie’s cheating ex-husband, Mac knew Riley couldn’t stand the guy any better than he could. She didn’t have to deal with the worry about possibly having the death of an innocent child on her hands. He wouldn’t have to worry about her distracting him this time, as long he didn’t think about her all dressed up in Paris, with Billy. Most importantly, she wouldn’t be implicated in treason if the mission failed.

And then they got home.

The post-mission-success-euphoria was running high. Mac was having a good time joking with Bozer, laughing with Desi, collectively hating Ethan on Mattie’s behalf, before he stood to grab everyone another round.

“You gotta admit it’s fun working together.” Billy crooned. Mac froze in the hallway, trying to beat down the urge to throw the other man out of his house.

“I did have fun.” came Riley’s quick response. “But I don’t think we should see each other anymore.”

For one terrible second Mac was overjoyed until it registered how very tight and controlled Riley was keeping her voice. He heard Billy ask to talk more about it, claiming her evident desire to dump him was “out of left field”. Riley shut him down politely but firmly, ending her relationship and dismissing him from the house and her life all at once.

Mac didn’t know what to do. Should he pretend he hadn’t heard anything? Ask her what was wrong? Disassemble Billy’s engine block? Something else entirely? 

He could hear her taking deep breaths, and suddenly couldn’t stand not seeing her anymore. Quietly stepping into the kitchen, he made his presence known. 

“You okay?” well that was stupid. 

“How much did you hear?” she asked with a mirthless chuckle.

He answered, “Enough.” and gave his excuse for eavesdropping, but Riley hadn’t dropped her calm, professional act yet, though he could see it slipping, and it was starting to worry him. In short precise sentences she explained what had happened and how she’d found out. He wanted to be pissed on her behalf, wanted to chase after Billy and beat in his face the way he hadn’t let himself at the hospital, but there wasn’t time.

Mac had barely gotten out a “that’s awful,” before she was begging him to give her time before he told Bozer. Her mask was breaking, there were tears in her eyes, Mac couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen her cry. She’d get angry or go quiet before she let anyone see her cry. 

He stepped forward wanting to comfort her without really knowing how to. He told her she didn’t have to tell anyone, like he had the ability to deny her anything. He told her to cry if she wanted, that he’d make her some matches if she felt like burning things. She responded with a small laugh, and he was relived even as he wished she would ask him to make Billy a molotov cocktail. It would be easy enough to do.

She gave an answer about the guy not being worth her time, and focusing on moving on. It all sounded very healthy and mature, it also sounded like she was reciting it from a book and didn’t actually agree with it herself. Mac was at a loss, what could he do but listen and console her where she let him. She looked absolutely heartbroken and his anger for her was briefly overcome by his desire to shield her from pain, even though he knew he couldn’t.

He watched as Riley shrank down and confessed to missing Jack, saying she felt lost. Mac couldn’t stay still anymore, and gently pulled her into his arms. She didn’t let her tears fall until her face was pressed into his shoulder, and when she trembled in his hold he hugged her tighter. 

He spoke softly, telling her that he was with her, that they all were, coaxing another fragile laugh from her shaking frame. He could and would be angry later, right now his job was to hold her up, just as she had done for him so many times. Mac let his hands sooth up and down her back as she continued to quietly sob into his chest. He didn’t tell her to calm down, didn’t tell her she would be okay, he just let her cry.

Bozer walked in then, wondering why it was taking Mac so long to grab three beers, and Riley tore herself away. She put her back to the room and braced herself against the counter.

What’s going on?” Boze asked slowly looking from Mac to Riley and back again. Mac waited a second, cold now without her, to see what she’d say but she didn’t respond at all. 

“Nothing,” he said finally. Turning to his friend and giving Riley a little more time to gather herself. “Riley’s not feeling to well, probably picked up some sort of bug in Paris. I’ve just convinced her to let me take her home.”

Bozer looked like he didn’t entirely believe him, but Riley did look pale and shaky, so Mac was banking on this to convince him not to question it.

“Alright.” he said. “Well I hope you feel better then.” He was speaking to Riley but questioning Mac with his eyes.

They almost didn’t hear her mumbled. “Thanks Boze”, as she turned and all but ran out the door. She stepped close to Mac as she moved, pressing something cold into his hand (her car keys) as she went, no eye contact or wasted movement. The two men were left blinking in her wake for a few seconds.

“Is she really sick or is something else going on?” Boze asked, not bothering to hide his concern.

“I can’t talk about it,” he said loyally. Mac knew Bozer was genuinely worried now, and he hated lying to him, but Riley had specifically asked him not to tell Bozer. He’d be damned if he broke her trust too.

Boze seemed to sense that he wasn’t getting anymore info just then and nodded. He grabbed more beers for him and Desi, before sending him on his way with an earnest “Call me if you need anything”, and vanished. She was already waiting curled up in her passenger seat when he got outside.

The drive to her apartment was quiet, just her intermittent sniffles and the radio to fill the silence. They were equally quiet as they walked up to her front door. Riley seemed to have shrunk completely inside herself, letting Mac lead her up the stairs, unlock her door, and guide her inside.

He watched as she mechanically took off her backpack, jacket, and boots. She grabbed the keys softly from his hand and tossed them in a bowl on an entryway table before shuffling further in, to collapse on her couch. He crossed into her kitchen to get her a glass of water feeling useless and out of his depth. 

“Do you need anything else?” he asked hesitantly as he set the glass within reach on her coffee table. She shook her head, eyes on the floor.

Mac’s heart broke for her, but he didn’t know how to begin fixing this. This wasn’t a bomb to diffuse, or a lock to pick, this was Riley. The most important woman in his life was hurting and he didn’t know how to help. The urge to hold her again was an almost magnetic compulsion, but he wasn’t going to even touch her unless she asked him to, she looked a little too fragile for his liking right now.<

“Do you want me to leave?” he whispered, dreading the answer. But she surprised him, looking up with wet lonely eyes and grabbing at his hand.

“Stay, please. I don’t think I can handle being alone right now.” Her voice was hoarse, but her hand was strong and unwavering, and Mac realized that he couldn’t have left her there if he had tried. 

He had intended to sit next to her, but as she leaned into his side their bodies seemed to develop a language all their own. Without fully meaning to, Mac found himself laying on his side with Riley pressed between him and the back of the couch. She settled into his arms with a sigh and tucked her head beneath his chin, wrapping one arm around his back.

His emotional upheaval could wait until tomorrow. As could his plans for Billy Colton, of which there were many. He knew it wasn’t his place to serve justice on Billy, but that wasn’t enough to stop him. Mac had reached his breaking point with the bounty hunter, and Billy would be dealt with swiftly and decisively, and when Mac was done he wouldn’t even think of showing his worthless face to Riley ever again. But not tonight, tonight his job was to hold her.

He could do this for her. He could hold her together as she broke apart. He could cradle her to him as she slept, and he fell more and more in love with her. And, if he had to, he could go back to being her friend in the morning, even if it killed him.

In the morning he would slip away, leaving her a note, a fresh cup of coffee, and his leather jacket draped over her little body. But for right now, for this one perfect moment in time when she allowed him to hold her, he just breathed in her soothing scent of figs and roses and relaxed for the first time in weeks.

**Author's Note:**

> SOOO..... How did I do?
> 
> I tried really hard to show that Mac was pinning without making him seem like your typical "friendzoned nice guy", and I also wanted to make it clear that he had other issues besides crushing on Riley.
> 
> I'm sorry if the whole thing seems a little too maudlin, but like I said I haven't been in the best place recently. 
> 
> As always, constructive criticism, or encouragement is welcome.
> 
> Love,  
> Little Violent One


End file.
